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Last Modified 07/22/04

Considerations for Caregivers

By Arthur N. Gottlieb MSW, LMSW, CSA

Caregiving is not for everyone.  Remember it's not about you.  If the relationship is too emotionally charged or patience is not your best virtue, find someone else to take over the primary role of caregiver.

It is important to reflect upon your motivations for being a caregiver and to make an honest assessment of your limitations.

As a caregiver you may at times feel powerless and sad.  But an experience laden with difficulty may also provide opportunities to strengthen relationships with loved ones, and for the development of one's own personal spiritual growth.

About Visits

Focus on the quality of interactions with a loved one, not on the quantity.

Consistency and predictability of visitations are important, especially for the homebound.

Communication Skills

Learn the healer's art of "bearing witness."  This means listening empathetically and suppressing the urge to intervene with solutions.

When speaking to someone in bed or wheelchair, sit down or otherwise lower yourself so that you are at the same eye level as they are.  This will distinguish you from others who remain standing.

Choose your battles wisely.  Attempting to address an irrational situation with rationality is generally futile, and will increase conflict with no resolution.

Those with mild cognitive impairment are still quite capable of comprehension, but the thought process may have slowed down a little.  Be patient and speak slowly.

About Moodiness

Seniors will experience good days and bad days due to effects of pain, adjustment to medications and or emotional issues.

Seniors who seem short-tempered may be responding to the frustrating lack of control of not being able to think as quickly, and remember as well, as they once had.

Restore and Maintain Balance

It is essential for you, as a caregiver, to leave time for your own introspection and emotional balance.  Engage in activities that serve to cleanse toxins and stress from the body and spirit.

Rest and relaxation are critical in order to prevent "caregiver burnout."